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HOW TO BE THE GIRL HE WANTS:

the first time someone tells you these words I hope you stick out your hand and catch the letters in the air I hope you crunch them in your fist I hope you shove them back into the mouth they flew out of I hope and pray you are not eight years old and hanging off of a shopping cart and groaning about how bored you are, I hope you were not young like I was the first time I read a magazine on a shelf underneath the candy I hope you weren’t young because I still thought everything I read had to be true - but better yet, I hope these words never find you.

They tell you to be strong but it’s the little things like this that sit on our hips and tangle in our hair and feel like bees when the night gets dark. It’s the little things we could never ever shake off because the minute we tried, we discovered there were more waiting for us.

HOW TO LOOK GOOD FOR SUMMER:

smile more often. I hope the first time someone calls you fat, you shimmy your shoulders and wink and feel like a goddess and take it as a compliment. I hope you are not the new kid in a fifth-grade class, glasses on your nose and your hair in tangles. I hope nobody ever touched your tummy and asked if you were embarrassed by the way it jiggles. I hope if you ever hear those words, you reach out your beautiful fingers and touch the temple of the person talking and ask, “Are you embarrassed your brain works like that?”

See, I have not gained weight since the eight grade and I’m twenty. I have had about four hundred people tell me I’m skinny but it’s only the two or three voices about the thickness of my thighs and the fat on my hips - these are the only voices that stick. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Take a bath. Stare at your reflection. Count the flecks beside your iris. Promise yourself you’re not going to ruin your life - you won’t let them win. Don’t let that moment cause ripples. Yank out the cruelty from your system.

HOW TO HAVE BETTER SEX:

stop faking it. Stop engineering your body to be a call-and-response of bruises and shots. I hope you are not fifteen the first time a boy kisses you hard. I hope you do not go home with a bloody mouth and spend the rest of your life thinking love is stained with iron. I hope you are not swallowing your sanity to be with somebody. I hope the first time you let someone touch you, they are someone worthy of your trust - I hope that nobody tries to force you into a label like “frigid” or “slut.”

In the animal world, most males have bright plumage so they can attract mates. In humans, we expect ladies to look a certain way. When you break out of the norm, suddenly you’re rattling chains. How dare you not want sex and still look this way. Maybe people are scared of admitting your body has power - it can turn heads in a baggy sweatshirt. Your body doesn’t need a magazine’s confirmation. Your body’s been through hell and still keeps on living. Put on your heels and stalk down the sidewalk. Take off your makeup. Do what you need to feel awesome.

HOW TO BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN:

ignore everything they tell you. Don’t let them in.

Maybe one day I’ll make a list of every single terrible magazine I’ve read. I think I’m gonna start an advice column called “If it makes them money, it’s probably not good.” /// r.i.d (via themilkywhiteway)

I will reblog this every time

(via thesearchisneverover)

nopantsrevolution:

imminentlyginger:

notsoplainbutinsanejane:

Do You Want to Build a Snowman Live

THE VOICE SHE DOES OH MY GOSH

Kristen Bell is a force to be recognized. 

Crying

personifyingchaos:

Dylan Moran on adulthood

cakesandfail:

youwillneverjustbeablipintime:

whoever

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invented

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waistcoats

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seriously

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thank

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you

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It was this guy:

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Charles II, huge royal babe and 17th-century fashion icon.

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What if Hufflepuff is actually the stoner house at Hogwarts

I mean, 

  • Hufflepuff. HUFF le PUFF.
  • They’re mostly considered nice and peaceful.
  • They live right by the kitchen.
  • Their head of house teaches herbology.
  • “Badger” is exactly the kind of animal a stoner would come up with.
  • Slytherins obviously do cocaine.

#THIS IS A LEGITIMATE THEORY #YOU KNOW CEDRIC DIGGORY WAS HIGH MOST OF THE TIME #I MEAN YOU HAD TO HAVE BEEN HIGH TO THINK OPENING THE EGG IN A BATH WAS A LEGIT IDEA

THIS TAG OMG.

amber-and-ice:

dewognatos:

siwillli:

Penranduil & Penrond.

I just made the most incomprehensible happy noises.

Penadan, Penrohir, and Penwen…and Pengolas.

Oh my goodness!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

setbabiesonfire:

castorochiaro:

nerdloveandlolz:

embryhallowed:

boydoicry:

seriously tearing up at 2am over steve irwin

such an incredible person who really cherished animals, his death will always hurt my heart. always

gets bitten on the neck by a snake.

"Can you get a close-in on this?"

I will never not love this man with all my heart.

So gentle. Obviously I didn’t know him in person but the way he didn’t react in anger here seems to show a very kind spirit. I wish people wouldn’t joke about how he died. People wouldn’t joke about a firefighter who died in a fire. Steve was all about showing us that even dangerous animals deserve our admiration, respect, and even a sort of affection, and that was something worth doing, even if he seemed goofy and silly sometimes.

I wanted to BE this man as a kid. I did. The world was so scary and he was always so excited about it all, I wanted to be excited too. I hate jokes about his death and how people talk about him like he was crazy. He was alive. He loved every single day he was on this planet and if that’s something people think is worth ridicule, then that just makes me feel sorry for them.

I love Steve Irwin.

spineisadiamond:

onesoginger:

I witch-cackled.

I KEEP W ATCHING IT OVER AGAIN AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER

I’ve watched this twenty times now I’m crying.

lotaesia:

childish-fear:

mooseings:

bicklandia:

Here in Australia, this is what has been happening over the past few days. The media is largely ignoring it, despite it being one of the largest protests in this country’s history. My state has also just passed laws that will come into effect in September that put restrictions on protesting which could lead to two years imprisonment. Our Prime Minister won’t even acknowledge that this has been happening.

Reblog this!

Please get this circulating. Australian media refuses to cover it and the government is pretending it didn’t happen even though there were people on their doorsteps at Parliament house. People in Australia are discontented with the way asylum seekers are treated like criminals, indigenous people are still being treated horribly, that our prime minister is a racist, sexist, homophobe who appointed himself as Minister for Women, that our health care is threatened, that our environment is being treated as a commodity, that our university funding is being cut, and that our Prime Minister doesn’t “believe” in climate change and that this country now only caters to the rich and conservative. And that barely scratches the surface.

What this government does is not in our name and we need to get the message out there, loud and clear.

I’m not from Australia, but this disappoints me. People deserves better!

I live in Canberra and i didn’t even know this happened?